


That's Not How You Hold a Baby

by livielightyear



Category: Raffles - E. W. Hornung
Genre: Fluff, Gen, One Shot, Raffles Babies, Short One Shot, holding a baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-22 00:05:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11368443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livielightyear/pseuds/livielightyear
Summary: A short drabble from AJ's perspective. Bunny is more knowledgeable in ONE area of life, at least... May turn into a series of very short one-shots!





	That's Not How You Hold a Baby

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this some time ago, and just now decided to post it. Raffles's charm won't work on an infant, so Bunny has to take charge!

“You’re not holding his head right!” Bunny offered me a most overly-dramatic sigh. The child in my arms echoed in the form of a wail.  “Here, let me show you…” All I could manage was to stand stiffly as he squeezed his arm between myself and the noisy infant, scooping the child into his arms as though he had been a governess for 100 years. He then proceeded to speak sing-songy nonsense over the cries while bouncing on his toes and swaying his hips like a human rocking chair on springs.

My dear rabbit,” I began, lacing my tone with just enough condescension to get a rise, “I hardly think that will--“ I was stricken dumb by the sudden silence. Bunny was grinning brightly in the babe’s face, ignoring me.

“Hello! Hello!” he cooed softly, over and over. I couldn’t see from my angle, but I swear the child was grinning with equal cheek back at my Bunny.  “Was silly old A.J. pinching you? I think he was pinching you. Yes!” He continued in the same tone. “Yes!”

It was insufferable.

“Bunny, _please_. I thought the voice you put on for a cat was terrible, but you have reached another level entirely.”

“The trick is-“ Bunny began explaining his child-holding secrets to me in the same voice he used on the baby. At first, I thought he was doing it to annoy me, but he then stopped himself abruptly, his cheeks slightly crimsoned, and he repeated in his normal tone.  “The trick IS to support the child’s head with your shoulder and elbow. And make sure that you’re holding them tightly. Babies like to feel snug and protected.” He paused to plant a noisy kiss on the baby’s forehead and watch him yawn. “Would you like to try again?”

“No, thank you.” I said, throwing my hands up in dramatic self-defense. “I’m enjoying the peace too much.”


End file.
